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Haven’t been posting much because of the PTSD reaching its peak on my birthday (the 28th) and the tremors have not yet stopped. It’s very hard to work, but I try, and fail miserably, so much so that I have lost a lot of hope. 

I am haunted by someone in a chat room who basically blamed me for still having PTSD. It does not stop. I hate myself so much. 

I haven’t been able to work on Alex in Wonderland. I hope to fix that by next week. 

For now, very tired, exhausted, and sad. 

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willow-wanderings:

lifeislikeabadrpg:

Just saw somebody take my post about ableism, which took a turn into rape culture, only to then turn it into “and this is how non-introverts treat introverts too!” 

Like. Fine. I get that you don’t want to go to their parties and that you feel ashamed when they act like this is insulting them, and that this is wrong, but… I kind of think you don’t get ableism or rape culture. 

I could see how it’s somewhat ableist, considering introverts tend to get treated as “broken” because we literally cannot handle crowds or lots of social interaction (it’s not even an “I don’t want to” it’s literally an “I cannot do this without suffering some amount of psychological harm”) and non-introverts are constantly insisting we “just need to get over it” and that “it’s not that bad, you’re just being difficult.” (I swear I’m not, I could go for a little socializing, just not with 40 strangers all at once, please dear god stop trying to make me do this “for my own good”).

Good points. My apologies for being rash and unhelpful here. I forgot that there is that much of a social pressure. 

I don’t see how it’s a rape culture thing, though. There may be a very vague connection between the “patriarchal standard” of “girls always talk and hang out and love being social” but… yeah that’s a much more tenuous connection.

Non-introverts treating us like us not being able to handle social shit is a choice and that we’re doing it on purpose just to irritate them, yeah that’s pretty ableist - it’s pretty much the psychological equivalent of getting mad at someone in a wheelchair for not being able to go up a flight of stairs - but I’m really not seeing a connection to rape culture.

Yeah, maybe they were just referring to the ableism part of the post, and the rape culture part they just kind of ignored. Which is the kind of weird disconnect that happens on tumblr all the time without malice, so yeah. 

I overreacted and reacted without thinking. Sorry about that. :(

Source: lifeislikeabadrpg
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I don’t think anybody noticed, but I disappeared for most of the weekend because shwetanarayan was helping me cope with the PTSD via extended Shadowrun Homebrew RPG sessions. I am apparently actually good at the RPG thing, instead of horrible, at least where character and story are concerned. A good time was had by all. 

On my birthday, I started disassociating in the morning and I’m really glad that I asked for the day off because driving in that condition is a very bad idea. I was even having trouble walking. And yeah, I was having issues telling the difference between dreams and reality. But RPG sessions saved the day. 

This is my character: 

Hachiro “James” Fujioka, who is actually Vietnamese, but was adopted by a Japanese family, and yeah really long story. They are non-binary (DMAB). They are into knitting. And I mean really, really, really into knitting. 

My time spent with the Company IRL helped me to produce the following artifact: the Corporate Maslow Hierarchy of Needs as taught by the schools of CalFree: 

(top)
organizational satisfaction
management esteem
co-workers and peers
payment for services rendered
medical health and insurance
(base)

Ah dystopia.

Anyways, they have reached a place in their life where they might conceivably proceed to look like this some days without persecution:

But who knows what the future holds?

My brain is still sufficiently hung over from the remains of the PTSD that working on Alex in Wonderland has been somewhere around impossible. 

Also the ferry commute was an utter and complete disaster and I am only now getting sleepy enough to sleep. And that’s pushing it. 

Good night.

Answer
  • Question: I LOVE YOUR BLOG SOOOO SO MUCH OMG COULD YOU DRAW A COMIC INVOLVING MERMAIDS AND MAYBE A DRAGON FOR ME - consultingasshat
  • Answer:

    floccinaucinihilipilificationa:

    I HAVE THE HEADCANON THAT DRAGONS THINK THAT MERMAIDS ARE SUPER COOL BECAUSE THEY LIVE IN WATER AND STUFF

    image

Source: floccinaucinihilipilificationa
Photo
dayzies-s:

tan-fit-healthy:

letsdeadlyfart:

bluedreamsx:

slaveoftheflesh:

xsorrowxlightx:

trumpetnista:

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 
Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.
This could SAVE a life.
dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s. 

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

listen to ur boobs

its all in the boobs

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry 

Always reblog! 

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!
B

dayzies-s:

tan-fit-healthy:

letsdeadlyfart:

bluedreamsx:

slaveoftheflesh:

xsorrowxlightx:

trumpetnista:

rarely-pure-never-simple:

thecornercoffeeshoppe:

hickshannary:

small-and-misunderstood:

Saw this somewhere else and felt the need to post it cause no one else ever really tells you this stuff

My mom never really noticed. She noticed when she was breast feeding my little brother and blood started coming out instead of milk. 

My mom said she felt and saw a little lump in the shower. She was lucky enough she found it at stage 2

My mom had a mammogram. The radiologist thought the spots were just regular calcium deposits. 

Turns out it was triple negative breast cancer that had spread to her lymph nods. Mastectomy, radiation and chemo saved her life.

This could SAVE a life.

dont be embarrassed to reblog, this post could be life saving

Signal BOOST and pass it on. I had a breast cancer scare before (luckily it was just scar tissue…) and information like this kept me calm and collected at the doc’s.

As a cancer patient myself, who found my own cancer through a supposed LARPing injury last year, i know how scary it is and how important it is to catch it early. Please spread this around!

listen to ur boobs

its all in the boobs

hoW MANY TIMES AM I GOING TO REBLOG THIS ! SORRY FOLLOWERS , #sorrynotsorry

Always reblog! 

REBLOG,THIS COULD SAVE SOMEBODY!!! DONT BE EMBARRASSED!!!

B

(via jhameia)

Source: small-and-misunderstood
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Just saw somebody take my post about ableism, which took a turn into rape culture, only to then turn it into “and this is how non-introverts treat introverts too!” 

Like. Fine. I get that you don’t want to go to their parties and that you feel ashamed when they act like this is insulting them, and that this is wrong, but… I kind of think you don’t get ableism or rape culture. 

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trillgamesh:

jk rowling unilaterally writing that not a single member of slytherin house fought in the battle of hogwarts and instead every single one of them hid like cowards is honestly one of the laziest most flaccid writing decisions of our time

(via moniquill)

Source: trillgamesh
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shwetanarayan:

I think editors, like everyone else who’s got the power in a relationship, need to stop feeling entitled to trust and start earning it.

(via moniquill)

Source: shwetanarayan
Quote

"

He is taking a course on Marxist ideology.
He says, “The only real solution is to smash the system and start again.”
His thumb is caressing the most bourgeois copy of the communist manifesto that I have ever seen,
He bought it at Barnes and Noble for twenty-nine U.S. American dollars and ninety-nine cents,
Its hard cover shows a dark man with a scarved face
Waving a gigantic red flag against a fictional smoky background.
The matte finish is fucking gorgeous.
He wants to be congratulated for paying Harvard sixty thousand dollars
To teach him that the system is unfair.
He pulls his iPhone from his imported Marino wool jacket, and leaves.

What people can’t possibly tell from the footage on TV
Is that the water cannon feels like getting whipped with a burning switch.
Where I come from, they fill it with sewer water and hope that they get you in the face with your mouth open
So that the hepatitis will keep you in bed for the next protest.
What you can’t tell from Harvard square,
Is that when the tear gas bursts from nowhere to everywhere all at once,
It scrapes your insides like barbed wire, sawing at your lungs.
Tear gas is such a benign term for it,
If you have never breathed it in you would think it was a nostalgic experience.
What you can’t learn at Barnes and Noble,
Is that when they rush you, survival is to run,
I am never as fast as when the police are chasing me.
I know what happens to women in the holding cells down there and yet…
We still do it.

I inherited my communist manifesto,
It has no cover—
Because my mother ripped it off when she hid it in the dust jacket of “Don Quixote”
The day before the soldiers destroyed her apartment,
Looking for subversive propaganda.
She burned the cover, could not bring herself to burn the pages,
Hoped to God the soldiers couldn’t read,
They never found it.
So she was not killed for it, but her body bore the scars of the torture chamber,
For wanting her children to have a better life than she did,
Don’t talk to me about revolution.

I know what the price of smashing the system really is, my people already tried that.
The price of uprise is paid in blood,
And not Harvard blood.
The blood that ran through the streets of Santiago,
The blood thrown alive from Argentine helicopters into the Atlantic.

It is easy to say “revolution” from the comfort of a New England library.

It is easy to offer flesh to the cause,
When it is not yours to give.

"

-

Catalina Ferro, “Manifesto” (via dialecticsof)

I feel like people do need to remember that there is a very real, very painful, very human element to the word “revolution”.

(via nuanced-subversion)

(via moniquill)

Source: sincerely-the-end
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isanah:

In case you thought Eggplant Literary Productions couldn’t get any worse: Bogi Takács, one of the writers for the Spellbound anthology, has posted that Eggplant has shut down and that ey have yet to be paid.

In relevant part:

By the time I came back – ie. nowish – I was greeted by the news that Eggplant Literary was closing. I still haven’t been informed by the publisher about this. I have no idea what’s going to happen with the anthology, whether backers will be refunded, anything. They seem to have emailed at least some of their writers, but they certainly haven’t emailed me.

The person in charge of my (former) company finances tells me Eggplant never paid me, despite the signed contract stating Eggplant would pay upon the receipt of contract. They did state that they had received my contract. There is a small possibility that maybe the transfer was misplaced (we got quite a few transfers from unexpectedly named Paypal accounts over the years), so I just emailed Eggplant to ask what happened.

The issue of delayed payment is extremely problematic in my case, since I’d explicitly told Raechel Henderson on May 29 that I would not be able to receive any payment after my arrival in the US (July 13), because it would be against my student visa terms. She’d assured me on Jun 03 that I would receive my payment well in advance.

I emailed her just now that since Eggplant seems to be in breach of contract with me, I request them to return my rights I signed away or I will be forced to take further action, unless they can prove that they really did pay me.

(reposted here with Bogi’s permission)

So not only did Eggplant a) mislead backers; b) ignore PoC when we pointed out issues with their Eurocentric guidelines; and c) refuse to refund backers (like Arachne Jericho and myself), they don’t pay their writers.

This isn’t just unprofessional, this is outright scummy. I am beyond disgusted.

Signal boost this. Let Eggplant know that this is unacceptable.

Source: isanah
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willow-wanderings replied to your post “Why is pasta so comforting. The place I’m at likes to serve pasta with…”

pasta is the best food for bad days. idk why either but it makes me feel better, too.

Must be the carbs. Somehow. (But pasta carbs seem special.)

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willow-wanderings replied to your post “Hugs do help. I’m sorry, I’m kind of not doing well. It’s getting…”

You don’t ever have to answer my hugs if you’re not up to it, k? Hugs should help not make you feel obligated, so don’t even worry about it ^_^ *hugs* Make sure you take care of yourself, k?

*huuuugs* Thank you. ^_^ <3

Photo

Source: http://xkcd.com/1259/

Quote

"Critics generally don’t associate Black people with ideas. They see marginal people; they see just another story about Black folks. They regard the whole thing as sociologically interesting perhaps, but very parochial. There’s a notion out in the land that there are human beings one writes about, and then there are Black people or Indians or some other marginal group. If you write about the world from that point of view, somehow it is considered lesser. We are people, not aliens. We live, we love, and we die."

- Toni Morrison (via theraceproblem)

(via burdenedwithgloriousbooty)

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sapphicscience:

this is a good time to note that if you don’t think trans women are women i’d like you to get the fuck away from my blog

(via officialcousland)

Source: sapphicscience